So…I’m back on here again and it’s been awhile since I blog on here. The last time was back in December before I went on a journey to China and Hong Kong for 2 months. Before I went away, I told people I would blog about my trip, however, I was not able to do that due to the censorship in China which was a bit frustrating so I do have to apologise to all those people who were expecting a blog from me. Lesson learned, I have to manage better next time!

With that being said  how was my trip? Hmm…my trip I’d have to describe would be…one of the best times in my ENTIRE life. I had an amazing experience over there. I was so fortunate to be able to do work experience with BBC and my dad’s TV Production Company (except for the part where they didn’t organise any work for me when I arrive at my dad’s office but anyway -.-“) as you don’t get a lot of these opportunities knocking on your door. I also got to catch up with family and friends I haven’t seen in a long time which was great to see them. I even got to watch the Socceroos (Australian national football [or soccer] team) played in the Preliminary round for the 2013 EAFF East Asian Cup where they thrashed Chinese Taipei 8-nil. It was great being able to meet the players after the match and was lucky enough to get my photo taken with Archie Thompson. So anyway, I would like to keep going on about my trip but that will have to be for another day as I want to talk about something else.

As some of you may already know, I don’t really like to talk about personal stuff but since this is really significant for me, I feel like I have to. I also want to aplogise in advance if there are some things that don’t make sense or if I make any mistake in words or grammars because I’ve always have this speech problem with my English since I was young and I have sometimes trouble explaining things. ^^”

Last Saturday, (19th October 2013) I had to say goodbye to my beloved dear family dog, Charlotte. It was so heartbreaking to say goodbye as she was part of my family for thirteen years. Now, some of you may have met her or seen photos of her but for those who haven’t, Charlotte was different from all other animals really, she was smart, a great companion, very hilariously naughty and an honest dog you’ll ever meet. So I’m saying she’s a unique one. We didn’t get along too well in the beginning but that’s probably because I was a guy but that was totally okay. Tho, when we grew up together, we became closer and closer like as if we’re best buddies.

So how did my family got her? Well, from what I remember (family, please correct if I’m wrong coz I wasn’t there), in the year 1999 (or 2000?), there was a pet shop that was apparently closing down somewhere in Sydney and one of my sisters was walking passed by and saw Charlotte who happens to be the last puppy there. I think because since my sister felt bad for her since she was the last one, we bought her and ever since then, she instantly became part of the family. I think that’s how we got her but like I said, I wasn’t there. It was a big surprise when I found out that we bought Charlotte like we did with our first childhood dog, Sweety. (who sadly passed away 7 years ago – RIP!) Oh how we miss you both so much!

If you wanted to know, Charlotte was a Fox Terrier mixed with a Shih Tzu and of course, Sweety was a Maltese. Both of them had different personalities from each other. Charlotte would always like to be cheeky and be smart while Sweety was a pretty relaxed dog, just like to take it slow and easy. Whenever my family and I gives attention to Sweety, Charlotte would always get jealous of her and try to play her way to get our attention. It was like a sibling rivalry, but as a fun one and not serious. There was also this time where Sweety would eat her dinner very fast and Charlotte was looking at her like as if she never seen a dog enjoying her food too much. Speaking of enjoying food, Sweety always love to eat everything. She would always go to the pantry and try grab some food and when we came back, we see these package of noodles that was open. We thought it was Charlotte at that time but it wasn’t so when we went up to Sweety, she had crumbs all over one her face. She knew she was in trouble so she tries to acts like if she was an innocent. Those two were adorable together.

There was so many moments with Charlotte…I remember back when she was a puppy, we bought a BBQ chicken for lunch and left it on the kitchen table and when me and my family were away, somehow, she jumped up on the table and ate the WHOLE chicken. It was a massive chicken! When we came back, we had no idea she could do that and for the rest of the day, she was lying on her back because she was so full. Charlotte sometimes doesn’t act like a dog…she can be more of a cat because she hates when we give her a bath and then every time we eat meals, Charlotte thinks she’s human because she would always jump up on the chair and wait for us to give her food. One of her favourite games to play is hide and seek. She goes under the blanket and hides and you can see see half of her body and her tail wagging. Her favourite treats was always schmackos. She was really sneaky like, one of us would give her one and then she goes to another person and ask for another shmacko and so on. When we found out that we all gave her shmackos, we found out that she tricked us. So funny! There are so many moments but it would too long to write it all.

You know, I really struggle with loss and I’m sure everyone has to face it once in their lifetime whether it’s losing a loved one who passed away or if it’s a relationship that has been broken up, any kind of losses really. You can’t escape from it. I had to face a lot of losses in my lifetime but losing Charlotte has changed my life completely. It’s like when I first loss Sweety, back when I was in Year 11, that was my first real loss to death and it just hit me. It really did. I wasn’t able to cope at all the first few weeks like I stayed in my room the whole time, I was isolating from everyone, wasn’t eating and didn’t even do my school work. One of the first few people I told that my dog died was my ex-girlfriend and do you know what she said? She said you can always get another dog. That did NOT help me at all and I know she was trying to be supportive but that was very insensitive to say that. Never EVER say that to anyone who has just lost a pet because getting a new one feels like you’re replacing your beloved pet and you’re still grieving. Sorry but I had to make that point

Most of you don’t know this and few of you do but I’ve always had a dark life. I don’t mean to rant but life has never been easy for me as I’ve been through so much crap in my entire life even when I was born. Tho, I’m so much better than where I was a couple of years ago but now with losing Charlotte like I said…it feels like life will never be the same again. I miss Charlotte and even Sweety…I really do. Last night was the first time being alone for me at home without Charlotte. Because my parents are working and my sisters have moved out, Charlotte would always be my safety net and she could tell if there was anyone outside but now without her, it’s just different. Even at home, it’s so quiet now and I’m struggling to get used to it. I guess it takes time. That’s what people tell me when they said they lose a pet. I’m coping somehow. Life isn’t fair but you can’t do anything about it which sucks, other wise, there would be no such thing as reality.

Before this gets too long, I have to tell you guys that this won’t be a regular blogging like it was in the very beginning back in 2009 because I am quite busy at the moment as I’ll be going away to China next month. If you didn’t know, I’m studying Mandarin (which is still terrible!) and will live in a college in Guangzhou for three weeks. I have so much stuff to do before then and I am really under pressure to get things done. With everything going on right now, it’s so hard. It can also take a lot of to work to write one post which can be time consuming but I will definitely keep on blogging in the future. Actually, I’m working on a few posts right now which I was originally suppose couple of months ago (was going through a rough time) but will publish it eventually.Thanks so much for those who has been supporting me (as well as my family). It really means a lot to us especially me as I don’t really usually reach out mainly because my childhood wasn’t perfect.

Oh Charlotte and Sweety, it’s hard to believe that both of you girls are gone already. I wish we could see you again but I know we can’t. All those memories we had together will be cherish forever in our hearts. I know it’s not hard to be sad but that’s only because we all miss you heaps. I know that you girls had the best full lives you could have even from us, we tried to do our best. You have impacted our lives forever and we thank you for that. You girls mean the world to us and will never ever forget you. It makes our pain ease that you’re both together now as well as our other family pets. All of you guys might be looking down on us, who knows? Even though life is always a mystery…I know we’ll see you again. Forever in our hearts, we love you all.

R.I.P. Charlotte & Sweety!

Be random but stay safe guys! ^_^