Real Or Fake?

It’s like half past 4 in the morning yet again. Not really sure why I’m always up around this time…maybe it’s because I’m thinking a lot more… I’m starting to notice some changes inside myself. My mood is starting to go down again. What happened to the “happy” feeling I was having weeks ago? Was it real? Was it fake? I don’t really know. I never felt like that before. I just feel blank at the moment…like probably feeling more numb. My schedule is hectic these days because it seems like I have something on all the time. Even on my free days, something comes up and I’m just getting worn out more.

I hate talking to other people bout my thoughts and that’s why I rather write my mind here. My dreams are starting to get to me. It’s just impossible to explain these dreams because it’s really freaky and disturbing. I haven’t been going to the gym lately and I feel bad coz I’m supposed to do this program but like I said, I’m totally worn out which make things more difficult for me. *yawns* wow…it’s 4:52 and I’ve been writing here for like half n hour.

Looking back at 8 months ago, it’s hard to believe that I was at the lowest point of my life back then and now, I think I’m starting to get better (well, that’s what people has been telling me). And now it’s 5 in the freaking morning on Monday.

I am off to bed but I’ll be back later on today. I hate to say this but life is effed up most of the time and it sucks. Let’s hope my mood will lift. =/

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